Microblog

If you want to know whether someone is a good parent, ask their children what they think. If your children think you’re a good parent, then you are a good parent. If they think you’re a bad parent, then you are a bad parent. Whether you are a blessing or a burden to your children, that’s for them to say, not for you to decide. As a child, you can say your parents are a blessing if you feel that way. But as a parent, you can’t impose this idea onto your children. You know why? Because love cannot be demanded. Love cannot be commanded. Love is earned. So if your children don’t love you, that’s on you. You need to reflect on what you did wrong and take responsibility for it. But in Indian society, when people see a child hating their parent, they automatically assume the child is bad and chastise them. Instead, the assumption should be that the parent has failed. A parent should never say to their children: “I gave birth to you, I sacrificed my life for you, and that is why you owe me love, respect, and care.” That is the height of narcissism. I think about this more and more now that I’m married and will soon have a child of my own. I will tell my child at every opportunity: We owe you everything. You don’t owe us anything. Children are a blessing by default. Whether parents are a blessing to their children, let the children decide that.